All the difficulties of life
All the difficulties of life are present every day; it is only the exigencies of the moment that call to our attention one or the other. When you have a sandwich, your thoughts do not dwell on hunger; when you know the bed awaits you at the end of the day, you don’t think about how tired you are, and where you will rest.
Most of the young people I am surrounded by do not understand this; for them, sufficient unto the day is the money in their possession, to spend willy-nilly on the engagement of the moment; then, when a difficulty presents itself, they seem astonished that they must provide for a situation they did not anticipate. For this lack of appreciation, I blame their parents. For god’s sake, if you didn’t plan to spend your whole life doing for them and providing for them, why did you never prepare them to look after themselves?
Is it my place to instruct them? I chose not to procreate precisely because I did not want the obligation to instruct others how to live in this society, one I find myself at odds with. And yet if I’m to be a good friend to my young friends, I find this is what I have to do.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Hard Times
I wrote the following in Summer 2002 for a friend's 'zine; funny how relevant it seems now, in Winter 2009. Anyone else think so?
Hard Times Don’t Last…Neither Do Hard People
Anyone who has been looking for employment in the last year knows these are hard times. No amount of statistics about “new jobs” or “economic growth indicators” refutes the fact that money is short, costs are up, value is down and, plain and simple, these are hard times. Jobs are being moved overseas, companies are down-sizing, and it seems, in every way, opportunities are shrinking for people to have and keep the means to afford even modest standards of living. It can be difficult to maintain a positive outlook under such conditions, especially if one has heretofore had those means for many years, and now cannot find new work and new security. This is a situation that many of us find ourselves in, and it presents a challenge to things deeper than just our day-to-day needs: in many ways, it threatens our humanity and our ability to have hope for the days to come. It threatens our belief in goodness; it threatens our belief that we are worthy of happiness. But difficult as it seems, we need to resist the temptation to harden our hearts; we need to work to maintain our belief in each other’s basic humanity. We need to resist the pressure to become hard in our thoughts, our beliefs, our hearts.
It is easy to say these things, but they are not easy to live; repeated rejections, repeated failures to gain even the opportunity to interview, or work on trial basis, press us ever closer to the conviction that the world, or society, or the climate of the times, will not give us opportunity to prove our value, our worth. These rejections score our very being, inflict on us the death of one thousand cuts; what lotion can soothe our pains, and help us remain flexible, pliant and resilient?
Only our belief in each other, and each other’s innate goodness.
How do we maintain our flexibility? Why would we even care to struggle against the hardening effects of hard times? A metaphorical story from the past can help: the tale is told in ancient China that an oak and a reed were talking one day, and the oak asked the reed, “do you not envy me my height, my size, my massive presence?” The reed replied, “no, I don’t. I am happy as I am.” The oak scoffed at the reed, saying “you will never amount to as much as me.” The reed merely repeated “I am happy as I am.” That night a great storm arose, and high winds whipped the trees and grasses all around. Ultimately, the pressure of the wind against the oak was too great, and it cracked and fell to the ground. As the winds grew stronger and stronger, the reed bent and lay upon the ground, and let the punishing winds blow over it. When morning came, and the warming sun, the reed rose again. It leaned to the oak and said, “all your great strength didn’t help you weather that storm. Perhaps it would have been better, had you known how to give a bit.”
It isn’t easy to give up the height we may have risen to, but if we can maintain our flexibility, our resilience, we have the opportunity to rise again after the storm. If we acquire the rigidity of the oak, we may not have that hope. And while we may not attain the great height of the oak, we may be assured that such heights as we attain we can attain again, and again. We should as well note that the oak, in growing great, stands alone, separate from its fellows, while the reed is happy in the midst of its kind. Together they weather the furies and ultimately, together, rise again.
Let us not harden our hearts against each other, even to stand above the rest; let us rather think of the reed, and the strength of flexibility, and the strength in community.
Hard times don’t last, and we do best to not let them harden us, either.
Hard Times Don’t Last…Neither Do Hard People
Anyone who has been looking for employment in the last year knows these are hard times. No amount of statistics about “new jobs” or “economic growth indicators” refutes the fact that money is short, costs are up, value is down and, plain and simple, these are hard times. Jobs are being moved overseas, companies are down-sizing, and it seems, in every way, opportunities are shrinking for people to have and keep the means to afford even modest standards of living. It can be difficult to maintain a positive outlook under such conditions, especially if one has heretofore had those means for many years, and now cannot find new work and new security. This is a situation that many of us find ourselves in, and it presents a challenge to things deeper than just our day-to-day needs: in many ways, it threatens our humanity and our ability to have hope for the days to come. It threatens our belief in goodness; it threatens our belief that we are worthy of happiness. But difficult as it seems, we need to resist the temptation to harden our hearts; we need to work to maintain our belief in each other’s basic humanity. We need to resist the pressure to become hard in our thoughts, our beliefs, our hearts.
It is easy to say these things, but they are not easy to live; repeated rejections, repeated failures to gain even the opportunity to interview, or work on trial basis, press us ever closer to the conviction that the world, or society, or the climate of the times, will not give us opportunity to prove our value, our worth. These rejections score our very being, inflict on us the death of one thousand cuts; what lotion can soothe our pains, and help us remain flexible, pliant and resilient?
Only our belief in each other, and each other’s innate goodness.
How do we maintain our flexibility? Why would we even care to struggle against the hardening effects of hard times? A metaphorical story from the past can help: the tale is told in ancient China that an oak and a reed were talking one day, and the oak asked the reed, “do you not envy me my height, my size, my massive presence?” The reed replied, “no, I don’t. I am happy as I am.” The oak scoffed at the reed, saying “you will never amount to as much as me.” The reed merely repeated “I am happy as I am.” That night a great storm arose, and high winds whipped the trees and grasses all around. Ultimately, the pressure of the wind against the oak was too great, and it cracked and fell to the ground. As the winds grew stronger and stronger, the reed bent and lay upon the ground, and let the punishing winds blow over it. When morning came, and the warming sun, the reed rose again. It leaned to the oak and said, “all your great strength didn’t help you weather that storm. Perhaps it would have been better, had you known how to give a bit.”
It isn’t easy to give up the height we may have risen to, but if we can maintain our flexibility, our resilience, we have the opportunity to rise again after the storm. If we acquire the rigidity of the oak, we may not have that hope. And while we may not attain the great height of the oak, we may be assured that such heights as we attain we can attain again, and again. We should as well note that the oak, in growing great, stands alone, separate from its fellows, while the reed is happy in the midst of its kind. Together they weather the furies and ultimately, together, rise again.
Let us not harden our hearts against each other, even to stand above the rest; let us rather think of the reed, and the strength of flexibility, and the strength in community.
Hard times don’t last, and we do best to not let them harden us, either.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Ya just can't be a nice guy...
Without someone taking advantage of it. After a series of hiccups in our power my wireless router lost it's settings. I had trouble getting my roommate's PC back online when I set up the security, but had no problems when I left the default, open settings applied. So I decided to try a little experiment and leave the wi-fi open. And for a few weeks it seemed fine.
Then somebody found the network and started using it. Well, that was the initial idea, that others in my little apartment complex could hop on and check mail, do a little browsing, etc. But within a couple of days, this jerk was streaming video and downloading huge files, it seems, because all of a sudden we had no bandwidth at all. I tried periodically denying service by turning off the router, to see if whoever it was would get the idea and limit their consumption. No such luck; the bastard just seemed to get more insistent, apparently leaving his or her computer on all the time, to wait for return of service and resume downloading.
So security has been reapplied. I'll just have to work on the roomie's PC until we get it's handshake issues resolved. Too bad; I know I really appreciate it when I'm roaming around and find an open network for my laptop. I try to be a considerate hitchhiker and keep my consumption minimal, but sorry, dude, I'm the one paying for this bandwidth and if you can't be reasonable you'll just have to go elsewhere.
Then somebody found the network and started using it. Well, that was the initial idea, that others in my little apartment complex could hop on and check mail, do a little browsing, etc. But within a couple of days, this jerk was streaming video and downloading huge files, it seems, because all of a sudden we had no bandwidth at all. I tried periodically denying service by turning off the router, to see if whoever it was would get the idea and limit their consumption. No such luck; the bastard just seemed to get more insistent, apparently leaving his or her computer on all the time, to wait for return of service and resume downloading.
So security has been reapplied. I'll just have to work on the roomie's PC until we get it's handshake issues resolved. Too bad; I know I really appreciate it when I'm roaming around and find an open network for my laptop. I try to be a considerate hitchhiker and keep my consumption minimal, but sorry, dude, I'm the one paying for this bandwidth and if you can't be reasonable you'll just have to go elsewhere.
Friday, February 13, 2009
My friend Adam
My friend Adam is amazing. He’s really an inspiration in these parlous times; he’s had to do so much, for so long, with so little, it’s like he can do everything with nothing at all. The story of our meeting will come another time; right now, I just want to describe him and his life a bit.
Adam’s not a big guy; his hair is usually a bit unkempt, his clothes are clean but frayed. He doesn’t spend much on clothes, seeing how his wardrobe is mostly jeans and t-shirts, hoodies and the like. His hands are small, but strong, with clever dexterous fingers. There’s an air of calm confidence about him, a man at peace with himself, comfortable wherever he goes. That’s a good quality for him to have, looking at the way he earns his keep. Adam doesn’t have a full-time job, but makes his money in a variety of parttime ways. At last count, I think he had five part-time jobs: minding a parking lot downtown some nights, mucking out a mechanic’s garage on Sunday mornings, working the counter at a consignment store a couple afternoons a week. He cleans the offices at the suicide hotline every other week, and he gives the overnight staff the night off every last Saturday of the month down at the juvenile center.
Through these pursuits he makes enough to manage his modest lifestyle. He lives in an apartment over a storefront that’s been used as a warehouse for a heating and cooling installer for decades. The company owns the building and doesn’t charge Adam much rent; he says they like someone being around to discourage vandalism. The neighborhood is pretty run-down. Once it was the retail district of a small town that eventually got swallowed up in the urban sprawl; now most of the buildings house small industry, or warehouse space, or are vacant and crumbling. It’s an old brick building, two stories tall, two storefronts side by side, each with an apartment above. Both storefronts are full of ducting and hvac components, blowers and motors and coils of wire; the other apartment is full of boxes of company records and heaps of odds and ends.
That's enough for right now; I'll have to come back to this topic later.
Adam’s not a big guy; his hair is usually a bit unkempt, his clothes are clean but frayed. He doesn’t spend much on clothes, seeing how his wardrobe is mostly jeans and t-shirts, hoodies and the like. His hands are small, but strong, with clever dexterous fingers. There’s an air of calm confidence about him, a man at peace with himself, comfortable wherever he goes. That’s a good quality for him to have, looking at the way he earns his keep. Adam doesn’t have a full-time job, but makes his money in a variety of parttime ways. At last count, I think he had five part-time jobs: minding a parking lot downtown some nights, mucking out a mechanic’s garage on Sunday mornings, working the counter at a consignment store a couple afternoons a week. He cleans the offices at the suicide hotline every other week, and he gives the overnight staff the night off every last Saturday of the month down at the juvenile center.
Through these pursuits he makes enough to manage his modest lifestyle. He lives in an apartment over a storefront that’s been used as a warehouse for a heating and cooling installer for decades. The company owns the building and doesn’t charge Adam much rent; he says they like someone being around to discourage vandalism. The neighborhood is pretty run-down. Once it was the retail district of a small town that eventually got swallowed up in the urban sprawl; now most of the buildings house small industry, or warehouse space, or are vacant and crumbling. It’s an old brick building, two stories tall, two storefronts side by side, each with an apartment above. Both storefronts are full of ducting and hvac components, blowers and motors and coils of wire; the other apartment is full of boxes of company records and heaps of odds and ends.
That's enough for right now; I'll have to come back to this topic later.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
02122009
It's good to see young folk who aren't content to pretend to play guitar but want to learn how to play the real instrument. I have a nephew who first got interested in playing guitar by playing Guitar Hero, and moved forward to learn the real instrument. All of his instruction has come from searching on the internet, and me. And he's turning into a good little guitar player.
It makes me feel good.
It makes me feel good.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I just keep finding out more things I don't want to know!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Ewen_Cameron
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Sargant
Read and weep...I have a lot to say about this, and Jose Delgado, but it will have to wait until I have time to really put my thoughts together. No pun intended.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Sargant
Read and weep...I have a lot to say about this, and Jose Delgado, but it will have to wait until I have time to really put my thoughts together. No pun intended.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
02102009
Boy, howdy! Lots on the plate tonight. Maybe better do bullet points and explication:
1) Oh Lord, please don't let me become an old curmudgeon! One of the things you have to deal with as a public school tech is the tendency bored kids have to pick at and play with the computers. So now I have several laptops missing keys, and not only the keys, but the clips that hold the damn keys in place! So we'll probably have to replace the whole keyboard. I know it's not my money, and it's not the time involved, but, DAMN IT, I wish I'd had this kind of gear when I was a kid in school! The last thing I would've done is screw around to see if I could pull the keys off! I keep telling myself, they're just kids, they don't think about the ramifications of the silly things they do, but it does get hard.
2) Money is going to keep getting tighter...(see previous post)...I love my job, but it barely pays enough to meet the bills. Trying to find supplemental income puts me squarely into the vast population of newly unemployed in my city. It makes me worry about all those newly unemployed...who do those people in top management think are going to be able to pay for their goods and services if they keep sending manufacturing jobs overseas? I'm all for helping the third world improve their standards of living, but we can't help them if we can't afford what they're making!
3) Now I'm just tired of thinking about #2. I've got to clear my head before I blog about anything else.
1) Oh Lord, please don't let me become an old curmudgeon! One of the things you have to deal with as a public school tech is the tendency bored kids have to pick at and play with the computers. So now I have several laptops missing keys, and not only the keys, but the clips that hold the damn keys in place! So we'll probably have to replace the whole keyboard. I know it's not my money, and it's not the time involved, but, DAMN IT, I wish I'd had this kind of gear when I was a kid in school! The last thing I would've done is screw around to see if I could pull the keys off! I keep telling myself, they're just kids, they don't think about the ramifications of the silly things they do, but it does get hard.
2) Money is going to keep getting tighter...(see previous post)...I love my job, but it barely pays enough to meet the bills. Trying to find supplemental income puts me squarely into the vast population of newly unemployed in my city. It makes me worry about all those newly unemployed...who do those people in top management think are going to be able to pay for their goods and services if they keep sending manufacturing jobs overseas? I'm all for helping the third world improve their standards of living, but we can't help them if we can't afford what they're making!
3) Now I'm just tired of thinking about #2. I've got to clear my head before I blog about anything else.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Credit companies want you to bail them out!
Well, isn't this interesting. Now that the holiday spending season is past, seems the credit card companies suddenly feel justified in jacking my APR. And with the economic downturn, remittances are at a marked low point. Of course, if you read the fine print in your agreement, you'll see they reserve the right to adjust your finance rate as they see fit, although there are some provisions for oversight and challenge. It's up to you to call them on it, which is what I'll be doing over my upcoming long weekend.
Long weekend, you ask? Yes, as an educational employee, I have President's Day off; and that's okay, seeing as how they'll pay me for it. Friday, on the other hand, is a "Professional Development" day for the educators, and since I'm Tech Support, there's no hours for me, and hence no pay. Still, I can use the day to challenge my credit card company to show me some love.
Wish me luck!
Long weekend, you ask? Yes, as an educational employee, I have President's Day off; and that's okay, seeing as how they'll pay me for it. Friday, on the other hand, is a "Professional Development" day for the educators, and since I'm Tech Support, there's no hours for me, and hence no pay. Still, I can use the day to challenge my credit card company to show me some love.
Wish me luck!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
On the day of my parade
ON THE DAY OF MY PARADE
On the Day of my Parade
There won’t be flowers in the lane.
There won’t be rainbows in the sky,
Or the Fourth of July;
On the Day of my Parade
Chill rains will gust the leaves,
Skyfull of chasing clouds,
‘cause, get over it already!
There’s just not going to be any rainbows and flowers
On the day of My Parade!
I know that! Don’t you think I know that?
Why are you always raining on
My Parade?
On the Day of my Parade
There won’t be flowers in the lane.
There won’t be rainbows in the sky,
Or the Fourth of July;
On the Day of my Parade
Chill rains will gust the leaves,
Skyfull of chasing clouds,
‘cause, get over it already!
There’s just not going to be any rainbows and flowers
On the day of My Parade!
I know that! Don’t you think I know that?
Why are you always raining on
My Parade?
02082009
Welcome to the fragments. How much, what kind, how often are all questions the answers to which will be revealed in time. Most of this will exist unseen by the many. Even the Latin is corrupt. I was born a middle class beige child in a middle class beige time. That's as may be. I'm no better than I ought be, worse than a few. If I'm accused of having too much time on my hands, I reply, perhaps I have too much mind on my hands. Whatever.
This is merely introductory. Creed and dogma to follow.
Everything is beautiful, and nothing hurt. (too much, anyway.)
This is merely introductory. Creed and dogma to follow.
Everything is beautiful, and nothing hurt. (too much, anyway.)
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